Photo101: Street

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Love seeing little ones jumping in puddles.

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DiY bath bombs

I needed to get my mom the best gift this year for her birthday. I make less than a part time job with minimum wage, so I needed it to be inexpensive. LIGHTBULB! I will make her spa treatments in my kitchen!

INGREDIENTS

Bath Bombs

  • 1cup Baking soda
  • 1cup Corn starch
  • 1/2cup Epsom salt
  • 1/2cup Cream of tartar
  • Essential oil of your choice
  • Water in spray bottle
  • (Optional) Food Coloring, not water based
  • Decoration (I used lemon peel slices) you can use dried flowers, fruit, herbs.

_Directions_

Mix all dry ingredients, preferably with whisk to get out all lumps. Mix in essential oil (put in desired amount) and color. Spray water and continue to mix. Keep spraying and mixing until it feels like wet sand & when you clump it into your hand it does not fall apart.

Take your decorations and put that in the mold first, I used cupcake pans.20141016_110531

Next step is to put your mixture in the mold and press firmly. I also made a fossil like seashell print for additional cuteness.

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Let this sit for approximately 24 hours. When done pop them out.

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Stuck … in a rut

The past few weeks I’ve been concentrating on Writing 101 (even though I registered with Blogging 101 by mistake) assignments. I have 5.5 hours each day to myself before the little monster gets off the school bus, with one or two appointments throughout the week. What do I have to show for all of this idle time? Nothing. That’s actually not totally true. I have piles of laundry, clutter in every room, and attempts to finish “projects” all over.

I sit back and look at it all and I am overwhelmed with a feeling of hopelessness. A dozen times a year I kick my ass into gear and get things in order, only to have it destroyed 4 days later. I need a system, cookie cut to my needs, that will continue to succeed weeks after I start.

Moving forward threw the storm

Over 3-months clean and moving through the negativity is a tough task. I can give myself any reason to use, literally. I hold on, I hold on to the seat I earned in recovery.

The years that I lost gave away to my addiction(the demon inside), stay imprinted in my soul. They affect my everyday life. My parenting suffers(with the child I have custody of & the child that’s with my mom), my social skills, my self-esteem, my relationships, they all suffer greatly.

I can choose to either sit in my own shit or I can take action to change. With the help of Melody Beattie’s inspiring books I am on my way to finding my true soul again. And with the help of my higher power (I choose to call God), Alcoholics Anonymous, and Narcotics Anonymous I am relearning how to enjoy living life in recovery.

Living with my consequences

When I chose drugs over my child, I gave up the right to be his parent. I’ve suffered these consequences time and time again. My son has been living with my mother since he was 8-months-old, he is now 6-years-old. I’ve always been part of his life and he understands that I’m his mother, but my mom is his guardian and to him she is his secure foundation, his “safe place”, and basically his world.

I am very lucky to have my mom being the one who takes care of him, I know that he could be in foster care or even adopted by a stranger if it wasn’t for my mom. She gave me an awesome life and continues to do the same for him. I wish that I was able to provide that for him.

I also have a daughter that is 3-years-old. She has never been apart from me, which I thank God for. My son and daughter adore one another. It makes it hard for me to establish a stronger relationship with my son, we don’t really get much alone time because my daughter rarely goes overnight with her dad. I’ve thought up great ideas for my son and I to do special projects or activities together, but we’ve only done about 3 of them.

There is no greater pain than the pain a mother feels when she is without her child. I wish I was able to express this to him, I hope that one day when he gets older I can.